


Free Falling

by MissMcCarthy



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Pregnancy, So much angst, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-16 22:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMcCarthy/pseuds/MissMcCarthy
Summary: Clint made it perfectly clear that he never wanted kids. What he didn't know was that he chose the day you were planning on telling him you were pregnant to make that opinion clear.





	1. The Beginning Of The End

Clint landed on the training mat with a loud smack, and you laughed as you brushed your long hair out of your face. During the session, your hair tie had snapped and instead of getting a new one you’d decided to just keep going. No point training if you could only fight if your hair was perfectly up. Clint was muttering under his breath to himself as you reached down to help him up.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” you smirked, eyes dancing as you looked down at him

“That was dirty and you know it!” he grumbled, staring up at you with a slight frown on his face.

“Babe, it’s not my fault that a little kiss can distract you.” You stared at your hand pointedly, waiting to help him up.

He let out a long-suffering sigh, you had this exact same argument every time the two of you trained together. After a long beat, he reached out to grab your hand. Before you could pull him up though, he gave a quick pull, causing you to lose your balance and land on top of him. You let out a breathy laugh, glancing down at his lips before meeting his now heated gaze. He surged upward, pressing his lips to yours. With a quick move, he rolled and pinned you to the mat.

“I win” he whispered, grinning goofily down at you before recapturing his lips in yours. 

Although you were pretty competitive, you can’t say you minded losing to your boyfriend of two years in moments like this. Time seemed to slow as the two of you lay there, in no rush for once. You ran your fingers through his hair slowly as you kissed. These were your favorite moments. Sure, you loved the stolen moments between missions but the slow, sweet kisses like this helped you forget everything else for a few minutes.

“Miss [Y/L/N] and Mr. Barton, please report to the briefing room. Mr. Stark said to please hurry” Friday’s voice rang out through the room, and you two quickly pulled apart, climbing to your feet. 

Your eyes lit up mischievously, “Race you!” and you set off as fast as you could before he even registered what you had said.

“Cheater!” echoed down the hall as he raced to catch up to you, a low chuckle following you.

You sped into the training room only a few steps in front of Clint and slid into the chair at the back, his favorite spot before he could stop you. He rolled his eyes playfully as he merely picked you up, taking his spot back. You grabbed the seat next to Bucky, turning to stick your tongue out at Clint, who in turn stuck his tongue out at you.

Tony knocked once on the table, and you turned to look at him. “You guys about done? I’d like to get on with this ”

With a sheepish grin, Clint nodded and the briefing began. Unfortunately, it was once again going to be what was quickly becoming the same old deal. A Hydra base in Boston had been experimenting, but this time? They’d gone low enough to be testing and torturing children. You guys were going to go in, kill Hydra, and get the kids off to somewhere safe.

Steve, Bucky, Tony, and Nat were all going into the base, while Clint provided cover outside and would try to draw out as many as he could. You’d be staying behind on the Quinjet as always. Your skills weren’t all that helpful in battle, and you’d only be a distraction to be completely honest.

Growing up, you’d spent a lot of days online where you’d learned to program and code. As the years had passed, you’d quickly made a name for yourself among hackers. You had a reputation for doing what you thought was right, whether or not the law agreed with you was a different matter of course. You weren’t just their resident hacker though, you were a mutant.

On your 16th birthday, your family had taken you out to dinner. Things had been going great, until the drive home. You didn’t remember much from the accident itself, but a drunk driver had t-boned your car and you’d passed out. Your older brother calling out to you had woken you and you’d seen the blood spreading from a deep gash on his chest. You’d been applying pressure to the wound and crying when your powers kicked in for the first time, and his chest wound healed quickly. 

Since that day, you’d learned to master your healing powers. As soon as you graduated high school, you’d enrolled in the military where you were trained as a doctor. You hid your powers, not wanting to draw attention to yourself. However, your low mortality rate drew attention and within a few years, Fury had recruited you to the team.

In the beginning, you’d gone with them out into the field but it hadn’t taken long before you asked to remain behind on the Quinjet. You weren’t afraid of the fight, you actually kind of enjoyed it. However, you weren’t exactly helpful. You were a pretty good fighter, but pretty good wasn’t near good enough when things got too hairy. After one close call where you’d almost lost Tony because you’d been too hurt to help him, you’d realized you were better off staying behind. 

“Alright guys, let’s go” Steve announced as Tony finished briefing everyone.

~~~~~~

Unfortunately, the mission had gone sideways from the moment the team arrived on the scene. Hydra had apparently known you were coming, and were trying to move the kids from the warehouse as fast as they could. Unfortunately, Hydra had also rigged the warehouse to blow. You guys hadn’t been able to evacuate the building completely before it blew, and there were casualties. A lot of them to be exact. There were a few kids lost in the explosion, and the team was quiet as you headed back to the tower.

Later that night, you’d managed to gather the whole team into the home theater. There was nothing that brought everyone together better than poking fun at the cheesiest romance movies they could find. It had started one night when Tony walked in on you watching a cheesy romance movie, your guilty pleasure. He’d gathered the team and they’d made a drinking game of pointing out the problems in the movies.

It didn’t take long before everyone was starting to relax, the drinks really hitting everyone as they’d decided to go straight for the hard liquor tonight. Thor and Loki arrived from Asgard just in time for the couple in the movie to pull a container of ice cream out of a small cooler they’d brought on their hike and walked in to find everyone laughing as Clint ranted about how stupid that was. 

As the movie drew to an end, everyone was feeling pretty good. You were curled up against Clint, his arm around your shoulder. Nat had fallen asleep on Banner, and the two of them looked absolutely adorable. Tony and Thor were taking turns throwing popcorn at each other. They had started by trying to see who could catch more popcorn, but now you were pretty sure they were just trying to hit each other in the eye.

The movie drew to an end with the couple finding out they were pregnant, and Clint let out a huff of laughter. There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary in that, so you turned to him curiously, your eyebrows pulled together in a silent question.

“Sorry. I just can’t imagine anyone bringing a kid into this world” he shrugged, leaning back against the cushion.

“Does that mean you don’t want kids of your own someday?” Banner asked, having overheard Clint. 

“No way. I’m not going to be responsible for bringing a kid into this mess.” Clint’s voice was hard, unwavering. 

You bit your lip, looking down at your fingernails. You’d always dreamed of having a family someday, and you thought he had to. “Do you mean that?” you asked, voice quiet as you cautiously met his gaze.

There was no pause before he answered, determined, “I’m not having kids, [Y/N]. Ever.”

Silence fell and the others began to slip out of the room quietly, not wanting to see what happened next. You were looking down, seemingly studying your fingers when he lightly placed a finger under your chin, pulling your face up to look at him.  
“What if we did though?” your voice was soft, nervous.

“We can’t. That’s why we have to be careful” he said gently, “Come on. Let’s go to bed.”

You didn’t say anything, not willing to trust your voice as you got to your feet following him. When you reached your shared room, you gave him a gentle peck on the cheek before stepping into the bathroom. You waited until you heard his gentle snore before you began to sob. He always took his hearing aids out before he went to sleep so you weren’t worried about him hearing you. 

Reaching into your drawer, you pulled out the positive pregnancy test and stared at it. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Not at all. What were you supposed to do now?


	2. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your decision is made, and it's time to follow through.

When your tears finally faded, you made no move to leave the cold bathroom. Thoughts raced through your head as you waited for some idea to hit you. Some way to make everything alright. Nothing came. When four am rolled around, you gave up the idea of any sleep that night and decided that you needed fresh air. You quietly snuck out of the bathroom, pausing for only a moment at the sight of Clint sleeping peacefully before you raced out.

You slowly moved through the quiet halls, pausing in the kitchen and wishing for a warm cup of coffee before continuing out to the balcony. The city lights danced below you as you sat at the railing, your feet dangling over the edge. Watching the cars drive past in the city that never sleeps, you let out a soft sigh.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been there, watching life pass you by when the soft whoosh of the sliding glass door opening pierced the morning, but you didn’t notice, too wrapped up in your thoughts. It wasn’t until a warm hand settled on your shoulder that you turned, smiling softly at Tony as he took a seat next to you.

“Can’t sleep?” you asked, resting your arms and chin on the railing in front of you.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” he laughed, bumping your shoulder with his own.

“I’m not the one who got drunk earlier” you rolled your eyes, shivering as a cold breeze blew over you. Fall had well and truly settled in, and with it, the temperatures dropped.

“Well, I’m also not a doctor and yet I’m not dumb enough to be sitting out here in nothing but my pajamas” he snorted, lifting his arm up and wrapping it and the blanket around you.

You huffed, but snuggled in next to him, “At least I’m not the dumbass that lit the kitchen on fire yesterday!”

He poked you in the side instead of responding, and the two of you began to talk about nothing and everything. Quiet mornings like this were the best, no wars to fight and no need to worry about anything. You could just forget everything for a little while in the traded barbs with Tony. As the sun began to rise over the horizon, Tony got to his feet, before reaching down and pulling you up with him.

“Thanks, Tony… I really needed this”

Tony ruffled your hair playfully, “Any time babe!”

You stretched, taking a look at your watch. If you hurried, you could catch Bucky and Steve as they finish up their training. Now that you knew you were pregnant, you couldn’t spar anymore and you decided that meant it was time for your least favorite activity - running. Unfortunately, the time with Tony had only helped you realize that you knew in your heart what you had to do and it was time to start preparing.

~~~~~~

“Fuck you, Barnes!” You panted, trying to catch your breath as you leaned against the wall.

His loud laugh echoed through the training room, “Come on [Y/N]. I know you can come up with something better than that.”

Steve glared at you pointedly and you shrugged your shoulders in a silent apology.

“Come on Steve! He tripped me!” you called back

“Maybe you shouldn’t challenge the Winter Soldier to a race!” Bucky grinned, tossing you a cold water bottle as he walked up to you.

“Maybe the winter soldier shouldn’t be a fuckin’ cheater!” you huffed, “Sorry Cap! Y’know, you wouldn’t have to hear our bad language if you were dating” your eyes dancing playfully.

“And we’re done here” he laughed, heading towards the showers.

“Hold on one sec, Steve. I was wondering if you’d cover for me this weekend? My sister’s having a party and it’s been too long”

“No worries [Y/N]. I’ll make sure you’re cleared. Tell Nadia I said hi!” Steve grinned  
You watched Steve go, your breath catching in your throat. It took a moment to catch your breath. You’d made your decision, and come this weekend there’d be no going back. The next week seemed to pass in a blur.

The next day, you went to the aquarium with Loki, Peter, Thor, and Natasha. Which was literally one of the best days of your life. You’d managed to arrange the private behind the scenes tour since you didn’t want to draw more attention to yourselves than needed. When Loki found out that Thor was fascinated with the sharks, well, he’d sent him falling into the shark tank. After fishing Thor out of the water, thankfully no worse for the wear, your group had been banned - for life - from the aquarium.

After that, you’d worked with Tony on some coding for his next suit. At least, that was the goal. It hadn’t taken long before the two of you had devolved into just seeing who could make the best paper airplane. Unfortunately, you lost. However, Tony managed to start a small fire when the plane managed to land directly in between the wires on his next prototype.

Friday night came quickly. Too quickly for your liking. Barring missions, you and Clint had a standing date night. Tonight was going to be your last date night, your last night at home in general and you wanted - needed - it to be perfect.

While Clint was grabbing the pizza from your favorite place, you were gathering all the blankets and pillows you could find and bringing them to the theatre room. As you finished making a giant nest from your scavenged supplies, two warm hands grabbed you around the waist, tickling your sides. With a playful squeal, you twisted in his grasp to face him. As he smirked, you leaned in to kiss him slowly.

“So, what are we watching tonight?” he asked, settling down into the plush bed you’d made and patting the spot next to him.

“Up to you. Which I know, means we’re watching Die Hard” you laughed, the movie already starting as you snagged a piece of pizza from the box he’d set on the couch behind you.

“How did I get so lucky?” he asked, a grin lighting up his face.

You didn’t respond, not knowing if you’d be able to trust your voice and merely snuggled in closer to him. He kissed your forehead, and the two of you fell silent as the opening scene came on. You two lay like that for the movie, no words needing to be spoken in that moment.

As the final credits scrolled past, Clint turned to you, his eyes warm as he glanced down at your lips. You bit your lip softly before you leaning towards him. He caught your lips in a gentle kiss, which quickly became heated. He rolled on top, pinning you to the bed and began to pepper gentle kisses all over your face and neck.

“I love you, [Y/N]. I don’t know what I’d do without you” he murmured between the kisses.

You couldn’t hold it in any longer, and tears began to shine in your eyes as you stared up at him, “I love you too. So much”

A puzzled look fell over his face and he brushed your hair back with one hand, “What’s wrong? You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you, right?”

“I’m just happy” and it wasn’t a lie. You were happy, this moment? This was a better moment than you could have wished for and it was killing you that it couldn’t last forever.

~~~~~~

The next morning, Friday’s voice woke you two, summoning you to the meeting room. There was another mission and you began to internally panic. You couldn’t go with them, you had to leave. For once though, it seemed the universe was squarely on your side.

“[Y/N], we don’t need you to come with us this time around. Shouldn’t be too complicated, and I know you were looking forward to this weekend. We’ve got this” Steve smiled, not realizing that he’d come to regret this decision later.

You smiled softly at him, thanking him and went with Clint as he got ready for the mission. When everyone was ready, you joined them by the Quinjet. The lump in your throat was painful, and you were barely holding it together. Thankfully, everyone assumed that you were just nervous that they were going without you. No one found it out of the ordinary when you hugged each and every one of the team - even Loki despite his protests.

“We should be back Sunday, don’t worry about us. I promise, I’ll see you again” Clint wrapped you in his arms and kissed your forehead.

You nodded, a handful of tears sneaking past, “I love you so much. Be safe, please. I need you to promise that you’ll be careful, always.”

His eyebrows drew together, puzzled. “Is everything -”

“Come on Clint! We don’t have time for you two” Nat interrupted, grabbing him and pulling him onto the Quinjet.

As the doors begin to close, Clint signed to you, _I love you baby girl. We’ll be back before you know it._

_I love you too_ you signed back, watching as the Quinjet disappeared from view before you headed back inside.

Not wanting to risk them returning before you were well and truly gone, you quickly packed a small suitcase. You grabbed a few changes of clothes, but otherwise only focused on the irreplaceable things - the necklace Clint gave you on your first anniversary, the Avengers pin that Tony had ordered one night when he was drunk.

As you looked around the room, ready to zip the bag, you picked up the photograph on the nightstand. It was taken right after your first successful mission with the team. You were standing in the middle, Clint’s arm around your shoulders as he smiled at you. The rest of the team was smattered around you, Peter giving Tony bunny ears and Loki glaring at the camera. With a shuddering breath, you added it to your bag and sealed it.

Grabbing the black trash bags you’d hidden in the room last night, you began to gather up everything else of yours. Your clothes, notebooks, hair ties, any trace of you that you could. You brought the bags to the incinerator to the basement and burned away the remnants of this life. You needed them to know that you were gone, truly gone. You weren’t coming back, and maybe it would be easier for them if your belongings weren’t haunting the tower like a ghost.

Not knowing how much longer you could last before you broke, you quickly grabbed your suitcase and raced to the parking garage. You didn’t spare one final glance around the tower, knowing that at any minute you were going to burst into tears and you couldn’t have anyone questioning you.

As you settled into your car, the dam broke and you stopped fighting. For the first time since you made this decision, you allowed yourself to truly grieve. Once you could breathe again without wanting to go back, you turned the car on. There was no going back now. Resting your hand on your stomach, you pulled out onto the road.

~~~~~~

The team arrived back late that night, the mission had gone fine but everyone was completely exhausted. Clint noticed that the room you two shared seemed a little off, but you were always redecorating so he just climbed into bed and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning, Tony awoke to Friday’s voice.

“Mr. Stark, I have an alert for you”

“Five more minutes, Friday. Please” he grumbled into his pillow. For the first time in what felt like forever, he had actually gotten a decent night’s sleep.

“It’s about Miss [Y/L/N]. It may be important, sir”

Tony sat up in bed, grumbling to himself as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, “Go ahead.”

“Mr. Stark, Miss [Y/L/N]’s bank accounts have all been completely drained.”

Cocking his head to one side, “Well that’s odd. Maybe she’s buying something though?”

“That’s not all, sir. It seems… There are no records of her left.”

That woke him up rather quickly, “What do you mean no records?”

“Sir, I can’t find any record of her online, in the SHIELD database, anywhere.”

“Friday, call her. Now.” Tony ordered, getting to his feet and beginning to pull on his clothes.

“I’m sorry, sir. Her number has been disconnected. However, I have just received a video from her if you would like me to gather the team she has requested I play it for everyone.”

Within a few minutes, everyone had made it to the meeting room. Clint’s face was worried, and he tapped his fingers on the table in front of him. He’d forgotten to grab his hearing aids, thankfully Natasha had known him well enough to grab them for him. Signing a quick thanks, he put them in while he waited for Tony and Friday to finish explaining.

“Play the video, Friday.” Clint’s voice was unsteady, nervous.

The lights dimmed slightly, and there you were. Sitting on a bench somewhere they couldn’t be sure where. Your hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and there were unshed tears in your eyes as you looked into the camera. You took a shaky breath, gathering courage before you began.

“Hey guys. I’m hoping Friday let you all get some sleep, and I’m hoping you all made it back safely. I’m sorry to do this to you, especially like this. I just … I couldn't do this in person. Guess you were right Loki. I am a coward” you laughed bitterly.

“I need to go. I can’t stay here, and I can’t do this anymore. I’m not … I’m not coming back. I need you guys to let me go. Please. I need you all to know how much this time together meant to me, and God knows I’m going to miss you guys like hell but I have to go. Tony, I’m begging you. You have to sleep sometime, okay? I don’t care if that means sleeping pills or hypnosis, just get some sleep. Banner, make sure he takes care of himself. And for the love of god, make sure he stops having coffee at 4 in the morning” you paused to brush the tears out of your eyes and clear your throat before continuing.

“Loki, Thor, you two idiots need to look out for each other, and please, get a better trick than your Get Help routine. At some point, people will catch on and you’ll be screwed. Bucky, I’m going to miss the early morning cheating. Steve please just go on the damn date. Seriously, you might like it if you tried it. Nat, you’ve been like a sister to me and I’m sorry I’m bailing on the shopping trip with you. Can you look after Clint for me? Please.”

You paused for a few beats, taking a few deep breaths before continuing, your voice breaking. “Clint … I don’t have the words to tell you what all you’ve meant to me. I’m so sorry it has to be this way, but I don’t have a choice here. Not anymore. I have to do this, and you have to let me go. The time we’ve had... They’re always going to be the best years of my life, and I’m always going to love you but you have to move on. I need you to.”

“I know you guys are probably trying to figure out if I’ve been kidnapped and am being forced into this. Or maybe you think I’m dying. I’m not. I promise. I’m doing this because I need to. I know you guys don’t understand why, and you probably never will and I can’t tell you and I’m so sorry. I told my family I was going on a long term undercover mission, so please just leave them alone. They don’t need to know the truth, it will only hurt them.

Your tears began to flow faster now, and you were having a hard time talking clearly as you gave the camera a sad smile, “Be safe. Please. Look out for each other… I love you.”

The video ended, screen going black.


	3. Baby Birds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time stops for no one, and you face a pregnancy scare that leads you with no choice but to contact the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Y/F/N] is your fake name, I didn't want to pick a name and have it be some reader's actual name haha

The team sat in silence for a moment, no one knew what to say. There’d been no signs this was coming, no hints that they saw. Everyone was scouring their memories, searching the last months for any sign that you were unhappy here enough to leave. 

The silence was broken by Thor, grabbing Clint by the shirt and pinning him against the wall, “WHAT DID YOU DO?” he roared, fury rolling across his face.

Clint’s mouth opened and closed, no sound coming out. He had no answers for the god of thunder. He had no idea, everything had been going great, hadn’t it? Hell, you two had just had a date night two days before and everything had been great! 

“Let him go, Thor.” Steve ordered, moving forward and placing his hand on the man’s shoulder, “We need to figure this out.”  
Thor didn’t move, glaring at Clint pinned against the wall, “Not until he tells us what he did to Miss [Y/N}.”

“Thor, we won’t get any answers if you kill him,” Bucky said, stepping between Clint and Thor.

With a growl of frustration, Thor dropped Clint’s shirt as if it burned him. He stalked to the other side of the room and glared at him. If looks could kill, Clint would be dead one hundred times over.

Tony let out a deep breath, “Friday, use facial recognition and figure out where she went. We need to find out what the hell is going on”

“I’m sorry sir, I can’t do that. I have no records of Miss [Y/N]. I have no pictures to use facial recognition on” Friday’s voice seemed to echo around the now silent room.

“What about the video? Use that.” 

“The video has now been corrupted. It seems that it was intended to be viewed only once as it was” 

The video began to play again, only this time your face had been erased. It was just audio over a black screen. You’d been careful to hide everything you could.

“Use our security footage. Get it there.” Tony ordered, cursing you silently.

“Sir, that is not possible. It seems that Miss [Y/N] uploaded a virus. There is one unidentified person on the security footage who I believe to be her, but the footage has been corrupted and the person’s face has been blurred out.”

“Show me. Now.” Tony ordered, turning back to the screen.

Sure enough, though there you were as you took your bags of belongings to the incinerator, your face was blacked out, erased like you were merely another face in the crowd. Natasha had yet to move, or say a word. Silently, she sat there plotting your murder for hurting the team, and Clint.

“What about her Fingerprints? DNA? There has to be something.” Tony’s voice was almost a plea, hoping you’d left something behind, some way to find you.

“Her sister has to have a picture of her” Clint spoke for the first time since the video had played, his voice rough.

“Clint, Tony, let’s go. Thor, Natasha, see if you can find anything she may have left behind. Banner, see if you can find any trace of her in our records hidden, maybe she forgot something. Bucky, contact Peter and the others. See if anyone else has heard from her. Loki, see if anyone in the tower knows anything.” Steve ordered, not waiting for anyone’s response before leaving the room.

~~~~~~

Your fraternal twin sister, Nadia, glared at Clint as she opened the door, “What do you want?” her voice was venomous.

Clint stared at her, confused. They’d always gotten along well, there was no reason he could think of that would make her hate him so. Something was going on, and he had no clue what. This all made no sense to him.

Tony stepped forward, “Hey Nadia. We need a picture of [Y/N] if you wouldn’t mind.” he kept his voice even, not trying to let on anything was seriously wrong.

“If I wouldn’t mind?” she spat, “You lot need to stay the fuck away from my family. [Y/N]’s gone thanks to you.”

Steve stepped forward puzzled, “Nadia, what’s going on? We got back from a mission and she was gone, she just left us a video and no explanation. Is she okay?”

Nadia let out a humorless laugh, “Is she okay? I wouldn’t know any more thanks to you lot. If you want what’s best for her, you’ll let her go.”

“Nadia please - “ Clint started, cut off by Nadia as she slapped him hard across the face.

“Don’t come around here anymore. You’ve done enough” she growled, stepping back inside and locking the door. 

Tony and Steve turned to Clint who stood there, stunned. His hand rested on his cheek as he stared at the now shut door. Steve rested his hand on Clint’s shoulder, and Tony merely stood there watching. 

~~~~~~

Later that evening, you arrived in your new home town. Cataldo, Idaho, a small town with a population of 893 people. Big enough for you to hide in the crowds during events, but small enough that you had the chance to meet all of your neighbors, and run background checks on everyone in town. An hour outside of Spokane, Washington, you were close enough to an international airport that if you needed to, you’d have time to get out of dodge quickly but far enough away that no one would stumble across you accidentally.

It had been a long journey to this place. You’d taken four flights, five trains, three taxis, changing identities between every switch. Finally, you purchased an old beat-up truck under your new name, [Y/F/N]. You drove through the silent town, pulling to a stop outside the little three-bedroom home you’d bought in an online auction a few days ago. It was a little run down, but it was home now. Nothing you couldn’t tackle before the baby came. It was midnight by the time you arrived, and you quickly fell asleep on the floor in your new home.

The next morning, you awoke to gentle sunlight spreading across you. You had to get a move on, you had a new life to create. First things first, you had to hack SHIELD’s database again. What better place to hide from the team than under their noses? It didn’t take you long to build an employee file under your new name. You made sure to make no mention of your medical knowledge or hacking skills, knowing those would be a dead giveaway. Instead, you noted your skills in other departments, undercover work, interviewing, tracking. Your new employee file made you completely and totally average, someone who would blend in without a second thought.

It was easy to then put through the transfer paperwork to transfer you from the Dallas field office to the Spokane office, with your start date as next Monday. That would give you plenty of time to get everything in order. 

Over the next week, you dyed your hair [Y/F/C] and bought colored contacts to hide your identity, making sure that it matched your new file for SHIELD. You fixed up your new home, and furnished it completely, turning one of the rooms into a guest room - you needed to keep up appearances of course - and the basement became a gym and home office. 

On Friday you had your first appointment with an OBGYN. Thankfully, the doctor said that everything was going well. As the appointment progressed though, a small smile crept over your new doctor’s face as she pointed to one spot on the ultrasound.

“[Y/F/N], looks to me like you need to be buying everything in doubles. You’re carrying twins.” 

~~~~~~

Months had passed since you had left the team and found out you were carrying twins. Things were going honestly pretty good. You’d settled in at work, and no one suspected that you were hiding anything. You’d had to tell your boss you were pregnant, and even though they’d only met you recently everyone seemed to be genuinely happy for you. At six months pregnant, the doctor had ordered you put on desk duty and although you were quickly growing bored, it was nice to not have to worry about running into any of the team on the field.

Of course, you couldn’t help but wonder how the team would have reacted, and at night, you mourned for those lost chances and moments. You’d never get to see Tony making the babies gifts that made your life a living nightmare. You’d never get to see Natasha spoiling them or teaching them to fight. However, you’d also never have to see Clint reject you or your little birds as you’d taken to calling them.

A month ago, you’d stumbled across a one-eyed Golden Retriever pup in the dumpster behind the offices, and you’d taken him home. Lucky had been your saving grace in the moments when depression had taken over. Friday nights were the hardest on you still, remembering your date nights with Clint. On those nights, you and Lucky curled up on the couch and shared a pizza. 

Unfortunately, life seemed to enjoy kicking you whenever it had the chance. When your doctor finally got the results back of your prenatal testing, you found out you were a carrier for Leber’s Congenital Amaurosis. Meaning, there was a chance one or both of your babies could be born blind if Clint was also a carrier. 

~~~~~~

Banner was working in the lab when his phone rang, an unidentified number flashing on the screen, although he answered it without paying much attention, “Banner”

“Hey Bruce” your voice was soft, nervous. You hadn’t spoken to any of them in months. Four months, three weeks, two days to be specific. 

You heard the clatter of something dropped and a sharp inhale before he spoke, “[Y/N]? Is that really you? Are you okay? What’s wrong? What happened?” the questions flew out of him before you could even hope to answer the first.

“Yeah… yeah, it’s me. I’m fine, Bruce. I’m sorry to call you out of the blue like this but… I need a favor. Two really” 

“Anything. Tell me what you need, [Y/N]” he leaned against the table, catching Tony’s gaze and motioning for him to be quiet as he put it on speakerphone. They’d been working together in the lab when you called.

“First, I need you to keep this call a secret. You can’t tell anyone I called or about my other favor, Please. I’m begging you, Bruce”

“[Y/N] come on, you know everyone wants to know if you’re okay”

“Bruce. No. No one can know about this, okay? Please”

A sigh came across the line before he answered, “Alright. Alright, I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”  
“I need a blood sample from Clint sent to Integrated Genetics under the name Matthew Adams.”

“What? Why would you need that? What’s going on [Y/N]”

Tony stared at the phone, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion as his thoughts raced. Why the hell did you need that? While Bruce answered, Tony was searching the lab on his phone. Apparently, it was a lab that did genetic testing.

“Please, Bruce. I am begging you. Please just do it” your voice broke, and the line clicked dead as you hung up.

Bruce immediately tried to call you back, but the only response was the phone company telling you the line had been disconnected. He turned to Tony, curiosity on his face.

“What's going on? Why would she need a blood sample from Clint?” Banner asked.

“According to their website, Integrated Genetics does pre-pregnancy, pregnancy, pediatric and hereditary cancer testing” Tony’s voice was quiet as he looked up from the phone.

“Fuck.” 

Tony and Banner quickly gathered the rest of the team except Natasha and Clint who were off on a mission in the living room. It had been a rough few months for the team. Thor refused to be in the same room as Clint, figuring he had done something to you to make you leave. Loki was… Well, no one really wanted to talk to Loki anymore after he went so far as to question if you were actually a Hydra spy all along. Clint had almost killed him when he let slip that theory. Tensions were high with everyone.

“I think we know why [Y/N] left.” Tony started when everyone had taken a seat. He raised his hand to silence them as they all began to talk. “Banner just got a call from her. She’s okay as far as we could tell, but we think we figured out what’s going on. We think she’s pregnant.”

The room was so silent you could have heard a pin drop as everyone processed what he’d said.

Steve was the first to speak, “That’s good news? Why would she leave over that?”

“Remember the mission in Boston? The last one we all went on?” Banner asked, waiting for them to nod before continuing, “That night during our movie, Clint told her repeatedly that he never wanted kids, and they had to be careful they never made that mistake.”

“Do you know where she is?” Steve asked, at the exact same time that Thor growled that he was going to kill Clint.

“She didn’t say where she was, Friday couldn’t track the call and the number’s already disconnected. She asked us to get a blood sample from Clint and have it sent to a lab that does genetic screenings for pregnancies.” Banner explained.

“We can’t tell him.” Tony’s voice was steady, “Or Natasha. It’s only going to kill him, and we can’t be 100% certain that’s what’s going on.”

The team agreed.

~~~~~~

Your doctor called you two weeks later, she’d gotten the test results back from the lab for ‘Matthew Adams’. Clint wasn’t a carrier, and there was nothing else to be concerned about with that. With the way the pregnancy was coming along, you were going to give birth to two beautiful twins, a baby boy, and a baby girl. 

With the help of your neighbors, you managed to finish setting up the nursery for your little birds. 

Back at the tower, the rest of the team had stepped up their attempts to find you, sparing no expense. Clint and Natasha had no idea that you had called or that you were pregnant, and Steve had asked Thor to go search Europe for you, mainly to keep him away from Clint. 

~~~~~~

On May 15, at 37 weeks, you went into labor at your desk. Your co-worker and friend raced you to the hospital and stayed with you as you gave birth to two beautiful, healthy babies. They were the spitting image of their father with his dark hair and light eyes. You named your baby girl Raven, and your baby boy, Griffin and you wondered what Clint would think of you giving them bird names for him.

You cried the day they were born, feeling guilty for everything they’d miss out on because of you. They’d never know their grandparents, their aunts, uncles, cousins, no one. For the first time in months, you felt utterly alone.

When the nurse handed you your babies for the first time, you realized none of that mattered anymore. You’d never be alone again, and while they may miss out on a lot due to your mistakes, you vowed you’d make sure they never felt like they were missing out.

Two days later, the doctor finally discharged you and the three of you headed home, where you were greeted by your beloved Lucky who the neighbor’s kids had been caring for while you were gone. 

Yeah, you were sad but for the first time in months, things seemed to be looking up. You got this.


	4. In The Spider's Web

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've been busted

You most definitely did not have this. 

You knew it was going to be hard being a single mom to newborn twins, but you didn’t realize the extent of how hard it was going to be. You were exhausted, worse than any time you could ever remember. By the time Raven was fed, changed and back to sleep, Griffin was crying for you again. You considered yourself lucky when you got to sleep for an hour at a time.

Luckily, in your time in Cataldo, you’d grown close to your neighbors and they were always willing to help out. The neighbor kids took Lucky for walks, and his mom even did the grocery shopping for you. Honestly, without them, you’d have been lost.

What you appreciated the most, though, was that no one ever questioned the fact that you were a single, unwed mother. When you’d first moved there, you had been waiting for the questions about who the father was, why he wasn’t there, all of that. They’d never come. For that, you were eternally grateful.

As the first month drew to a close, you were finally starting to get your feet under you again. The babies had gotten onto a schedule, and your life was starting to fall into a new routine. You were forcing yourself to start training again. While things were calm, and there was no sign of the team finding you, well, you were an agent of SHIELD and who knew how long the peace would last.

You needed to head into the office today, had to fill out some paperwork to get the kids on your insurance and all that. You had debated bringing the kids with you, but the flu was going around and you definitely did not need two sick newborns. Your neighbor had offered to babysit for you, and to be completely honest you were looking forward to a few hours of you time.

As you entered the office, you didn’t notice the eyes following you. 

~~~~~~

Nat couldn’t believe her eyes as you strolled into the building, smiling and greeting the receptionist before continuing on. You’d changed your hair and your style but she’d know you anywhere. Waiting for you to enter the elevator, she approached the receptionist. 

“Who was that?” she asked, one eyebrow quirked.

The receptionist looked up from her papers, stumbling over herself as she realized who was talking to her. Hurriedly, she covered the Black Widow mouse pad with a stack of papers before answering, “That’s Agent [Y/F/N]. She works in surveillance, but right now she’s on desk duty! Do you want me to page her?” 

Nat quickly dismissed her, and merely asked for a copy of your file before telling her not to say a word to anyone and leaving.

~~~~~~

You arrived home a couple of hours later, sending your neighbor on the way your heartfelt thanks. That evening, after putting Raven and Griffin down for the night and while making dinner, there was a knock at your door. You laughed as you opened the door, guessing the neighbor had left something at your house again.

“What’d you forget this time, As-” you stopped, eyes going wide as you looked at Nat. 

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t kill you” she narrowed her eyes, and you shuddered at the hate in her eyes.

Your eyes quickly scanned the street, searching. 

“I’m alone.”

You let out a quiet breath and stepped back, “Do you want to come in, Nat?”

She didn’t say anything, just walked in past you and looked around the house. Your house was small but clean. Over the months you’d been here, you’d made it feel like a home and you were proud of that. Lucky picked his head up off the couch when she walked in, but when you put your finger in a shushing motion, he merely went back to sleep - he’d spent the day chasing squirrels again and was pretty tired.

“I’m waiting for an explanation, [Y/N] and it better be a damn good one. Do you even know what your leaving did?” you’d never heard her sound so cold.

“Come on, and be quiet” your voice was soft, and you refused to look her in the eyes, leading her up the stairs towards the nursery.

Nat followed you, curiosity overriding her anger. When you opened the door to the nursery, the soft light from the hallway lit the room up just enough for her to see, and you blushed at the sight. 

When you’d decorated the nursery, you’d wanted to honor the team and so the entire nursery was Avengers themed. Raven’s crib was decorated with all sorts of Black Widow stuff, while Griffin’s was covered in stuff from all of the guys, there were even little things for Bucky and Loki. The only sign of Clint in the room was the framed picture you’d taken the day you left that hung on the wall. 

You waited a few moments before shutting the door behind you and heading back downstairs to the kitchen, where you grabbed two wine glasses out of the cabinet. Nat hadn’t said a word to you yet, merely taking a seat at the counter and watching as you filled one glass with wine, the other with grape juice. 

Passing her the wine, you kept the grape juice for yourself, “I like feeling like I can drink, okay? It’s a mental thing” you muttered when she looked at you curiously. 

She took a sip, “So, I’m guessing that’s why you up and left?”

“Yup”

“Just didn’t want to raise kids with the Avengers then?”

“That’s not it, Nat. Not at all.”

“Then you didn’t want to raise kids with Clint.” her voice grew hard again

“More like he didn’t want to raise kids with me. The day I found out I was pregnant, he gave me a speech about how he didn’t want kids and we needed to be careful to never make that mistake”

“Did he know you were pregnant?”

“No. I was waiting to tell him, but he made his opinion very clear. He didn’t want kids, Nat. Not ever. I wasn’t going to force him to hang out if he didn’t want to be a part of our lives, so I left.”

“What are their names?”

“My little girl is Raven, and my son is Griffin” a small smile on your face.

Nat rolled her eyes but her smile matched yours, “I see there was a theme.”

You shrugged and finished making dinner, passing her one plate of the Fettucine Alfredo before taking a seat next to her. Nat took the plate with a thank you, and the two of you shared a quiet meal both of you lost in your thoughts.

“How’d you find me?” you sighed.

“Luck. We’re investigating some odd activity over in Washington, and I needed to pick up some files Spokane. Didn’t expect to see you strolling into the building.”

“Where’s - The others. Are they nearby?” 

“They’re a couple of hours drive from here. I’m supposed to meet back up with them in the morning.”

“You’re welcome to stay the night if you need somewhere to stay… I’ve got a guest room, but I can’t promise the baby bids won’t wake you up tonight” you refused to meet her eye anymore.

She paused for a moment, thinking, “Thank you.”

The two of you talked about random nonsense while you did the dishes, neither of you wanting to address the elephant in the room. As time passed, the two of you began to run out of things to talk about, until silence fell.

“How… how is he?” 

“Not good. He’s drinking a lot, won’t spend time with anyone and even when he’s there, he’s not really there. Thor hates his guts, and he blames himself. Apparently so does Nadia.”

You blanched, “Why does Thor hate him? What did Nadia do?”

“Thor blames him for you leaving. Steve’s had him searching Europe for you to keep him away from Clint. And Nadia? She told him to his face that it was his fault and to never come back”

You cursed Nadia under your breath, “It’s not his fault. I mean, not really. He didn’t want kids, but what was done was done. I don’t blame him… I’ll call her. Tell her to lay off him if she ever sees him again. I’m sorry. I’ll figure something out about Thor” 

“You could try talking to him, [Y/N]. I think Clint deserves to know he has kids.”

“Nat, I don’t know.”

Before she could respond, your phone alarm went off and you raced to silence it before it could wake the sleeping baby birds.

“Care to train with me? I haven’t trained with anyone since I found out I was pregnant.”

“You realize I’m just going to beat the shit out of you, right?”

You shrugged, leading the way down to the basement, “Wouldn’t be the first time. Go easy on the face though, I really don’t want to explain it to the neighbors” 

The two of you sparred for an hour, and by the end, you were bruised and battered. Nat hadn’t gone easy on you, and to be honest you were kind of glad. You’d landed a few blows on her, but it didn’t take long to realize just how far your skills had fallen. Clearly, you had a long way to go to get back to where you once were.

The twins only woke you up twice that night, and you weren’t sure if Nat somehow managed to sleep through it or just didn’t want to bother you but you were grateful for the alone time with their babies. When morning came around, you fed the babies and got them situated in their bassinets in the living room while you cooked.

“Are you going to tell him?” you asked

“Are you?” 

“Nat, he doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want Griffin. He doesn’t want Raven”

“He needs to know. If you won’t tell him, I’ll have to.”

“Please Nat. Don’t do this… I’ll talk to Thor and the others, tell them to lay off him”

“But you won’t talk to him?”

“What do you want me to say? That something he never wanted happened? That I ran because as much as I love him, the kids come first? How is that going to help.”

Nat’s StarkPhone rang and you fell silent immediately your heart pounding as she spoke, “I’m on my way back now, Clint. No problems here” she paused, “Yeah, I’ll see you guys in a couple of hours.” 

She hung up and turned to face you, “We’re going to continue this discussion” her voice dared you to argue. 

After a quick hug and promises to keep in touch, she left.

~~~~~~

Later that afternoon your phone rang. You didn’t get to it in time to answer because you were playing with the twins, but when it rang again immediately after you raced to answer.

“[Y/N], we’re coming to you. Clint - It’s not pretty. We need your help.”


	5. The Exhaustion Is Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Clint injured and the team on their way to your house, you’re forced to face those you’ve left behind

Natasha’s voice was fearful, and you barely held in the panic, “Is he - is he” your voice broke and you were unable to finish.

“He’s alive. Barely. We’re coming as fast as we can.” she answered, before reading you the address of a small farm on the outskirts of town, the closest place that they could land the Quinjet. 

Luckily, your neighbor was home and you were able to able to have her come watch the kids while you raced out to the field. You pulled up and climbed out of your truck right as the Quinjet was landing. You raced towards the Quinjet, already waiting as the door opened. 

When the door opened, revealing Tony and Nat, you barely hesitated just racing up the ramp, looking around for Clint and ignoring the rest of the team. Clint was laying against the wall, passed out and blood was soaking into his shirt. 

You fell to your knees, pulling his head into your lap and gently grabbing his head in your hands. You felt your powers slowly awaken, you’d left them dormant for too long and you could only hope they’d be strong enough now. You closed your eyes, humming softly as you set to work.

The team watched in silence, as if afraid to talk to you. They’d been shocked when after the battle Nat told them to fly here, and she’d spent the night at your house. Everyone was a little worse for wear after the battle, but Clint had been careless, taking a few too many risks and paid the price.

There were two bullet holes in his chest, both had gone clean through and had thankfully missed anything too major but the blood loss was severe. You softly brushed the hair out of his face, imagining the skin knitting itself closed and the body producing more blood to replace what was lost. It took almost an hour for you to repair the damage and you silently cursed yourself. This should have only taken half an hour, but you’d slipped too far. 

Once you were sure he would live, you kissed his forehead and shakily got to your feet. It had taken a lot out of you, and your body was still healing from yesterday’s beating. Taking a deep breath, you looked around at the team, looking each of them over. 

“Anyone else need help?” you tried to hide your nerves, wringing your hands.

“It’s good to see you Miss [Y/N]” Thor smiled at you cautiously, treating you as if they’d brought a wild animal into the ship.

You muttered thanks, eyes narrowing as you looked over at Tony who was trying, unsuccessfully, to hide the blood on his arm. It didn’t look severe, but since you were here, you might as well, right? You walked over to him, slowly grabbing his arm. It was just a deep gash and it took you only a minute to patch it up.

You sunk down onto the bench near Clint, waiting to see who’d talk first. You weren’t sure how they were taking your presence and this was pretty much your nightmare.

“Sorry [Y/N]. I had -” Nat started but you raised your hand, cutting her off.

“Don’t apologize. You did the right thing, I’m glad you got me. If he had… If you hadn’t?” you shuddered, leaning back against the wall, exhausted, “What happened?”

Nat sighed, leaning against the wall, “Mission went sideways, and Clint got distracted. He didn’t see the guys behind him until it was too late.”

You sighed, cursing him under your breath as you looked down at Clint. The color was starting to come back to him and he was looking better, although he’d still yet to wake up.

“Why’d you leave?” Steve stood in front of you, arms crossed as he looked down at you disappointed. 

You cleared your throat, looking up from Clint’s sleeping form to meet his gaze, “I know I owe you an explanation but I owe him one first. I need to talk to him first.”

“You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to,” Thor told you, his voice soft for you as he glared at Clint.

Motioning for Thor to come closer because you were too tired to move, you smacked his arm once, hard, “Dammit Thor I’ve heard what you’ve been doing. It’s not his fault. Leave him the fuck alone” you grumbled.

Thor had the decently to look sheepish as you yawned, “Sorry. It seemed like the facts said he was to blame. I suppose it’s possible I may have overreacted.”

“Why are you so tired?” Bucky asked eyebrow raised curiously.

“Why am I so tired? Because Nat beat the shit out of me last night. I barely got any sleep. I haven’t used my powers since I left, and I haven’t slept through the night in over a freaking month. Sorry to disappoint you, but I’ve been pretty boring since I left!” you snapped, tiredness taking over.

Nat shrugged as the others looked at her, “Where’s -” she paused, “Lucky?”

You yawned again, “Ashley’s got them. I need to get back. She’s got work soon.”

“Well, you clearly can’t be driving, and I’d really rather you not be alone right now because we haven’t exactly gone far and I don’t trust you not to run,” Steve explained.

You leaned your head back against the wall, “Can you hide the QuinJet? Cloak it?”

“Did you really ask that? Of course, we can. You act like we fell apart without you.” Tony grumbled.

“Good. Cloak it up. You’re all coming back to my house.” you climbed to your feet

“Uh, [Y/N]? You sure about that? What about Lucky?” Nat asked.

“I’ll worry about that later. Right now, I don’t care” you muttered, heading out towards your truck.

Steve picked up Clint, and everyone followed you out. You were suddenly grateful for your overly large truck, even though you always hated parking it. Nat climbed in the driver’s seat, Bucky climbed into the passenger seat, Tony, Banner and you climbed into the backseat while Thor, Steve, and Clint settled into the bed of the truck. 

A few minutes later, Nat pulled up in front of the house and everyone climbed out. Your neighbor came out of the home, startled to see the Avengers filing out of your truck. You shrugged, promising her an explanation later as you all filed in. It was early in the afternoon, meaning the kids were asleep. 

Lucky came bounding down the stairs as you unlocked the door, wagging his tail and barking until you shushed him. The team looked around your little house curiously, and you turned to them, sighing. 

“I have a few rules. I need y’all to be quiet for a while, okay? The little birds wake up at 4, so quiet until then. Whoever wakes them up, I’m killing. There’s a guest room you can put Clint in upstairs. There’s a gym, bathroom, and office downstairs, towels are in the bathrooms and if you want a nap use the couch or the inflatable mattress - it’s under the stairs. Nat’s the only one allowed in the room with the birds on the door. Make yourselves at home” you finally finished.

The others nodded in agreement, dispersing, and you led the way to the guest room, tucking Clint in once Steve set him down. You leaned in, removing his hearing aids. Whenever he fell asleep in them, he always woke up complaining that his ears were sore. Shooing Steve downstairs, you turned to Nat and hugged her tight. 

“Can you please keep an eye on the kids? I need to take a nap” you were struggling to keep your eyes open at this point as you passed her the baby monitor you’d snagged off the counter downstairs.

She nodded and stepped out, heading downstairs to make sure the others didn’t cause too much trouble. You settled into the chair next to Clint’s bed, wanting to just watch him for a second before you went to your room. It didn’t take long before you passed out, head resting on the bed next to him.

Two hours later, you woke to a gentle touch on your face. You grumbled for Lucky to go away, and buried your head in your arms again. It took you a minute to remember where you were and who was with you. Biting your lip, you peeked up meeting Clint’s gaze. 

His eyes studied yours, voice rough, “Hey [Y/N]”


	6. Reunions Are Terrifying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint's awake. What now?

You slowly sat up, chewing your lip as you looked him over, “Hey…”

You both sat there quietly, afraid to be the one to speak first. You couldn’t take your eyes off each other, and he carefully reached forward to cup your cheek in his hand. You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes and letting out a soft sigh. You let yourself enjoy the touch before you kissed his palm and pulled back. Reaching over, you passed him his hearing aids from the nightstand and waited as he put them back in his ears.

He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could even get a word out a loud cry pierced the silence. A cry you knew all too well. Glancing at the clock, you realized the babies were likely hungry, and you weren’t sure how many more bottles you had ready. Jumping to your feet, you paused once to spare him a last glance before going into the twin’s room and shutting the door behind you.

You had just settled into the rocking chair, the babies nursing, when the door opened. You looked up, prepared to yell at whoever came in but froze when you saw it was Clint. Clint didn’t say a word, merely shut the door behind him and sat against it, and you weren’t sure if he was keeping the others out or locking you in.

Neither of you spoke as the twins finished nursing. The silence continued to reign as you burped them and began to rock slowly with them. This time, Clint made no move to speak as he looked around the Avenger’s themed nursery. You knew it wouldn’t be lost on him that all of the others were represented here, but not him. 

“I’m sorry” you stared down at Griffin and Raven, unable to meet his gaze. 

“They’re mine” it wasn’t a question.

You nodded, chewing on your lip again. You finally glanced up at him, eyes meeting his. His face was unreadable, and you began to tear up. This was what you’d been hoping to avoid, the moment when he realized his nightmares came true and he left. 

“That’s why you left? You were pregnant?” his voice was soft, as if afraid to break the silence as he looked down at the sleeping infants. 

“I know” you swallowed back a quiet sob, “I know it’s not what you wanted, Clint. I wish I could say I’m sorry about them but I’m not, I love our little birds and I don’t want you to feel pressured and I know you’re going to leave and I don’t blame you and it’s okay we’ll be fine and I’m so sorry” you rambled. 

His eyes snapped up to yours, “You thought I didn’t want you? That I wouldn’t want our kids?” 

“Clint, you don’t have to pretend. You made it clear, you don’t want kids. That’s okay” you couldn’t look at him anymore, couldn’t stand to see the moment he decided to leave.

He didn’t respond, but you could hear the rustle of his clothes as he got to his feet. You waited for the click of the door opening, but it never came. Instead, you heard him slowly walking towards you and you looked at him curiously as he kneeled in front of you and rested his hand on your knee. 

“How could you ever think I wouldn’t want you? Wouldn’t want this? What made you think something so stupid?” his voice was soft.

“The day I found out I was pregnant, the day of our last mission you told me to my face you never wanted kids. That we had to be careful that we didn’t let that happen” you whispered

“Babe, we’d just worked the worst mission we’d had in years. Kids died. Of course I didn’t want to even think about hypothetical kids right then. If I’d known you were pregnant...” he moved his hand from your knee up to your face and gently brushed the tears off your cheek. 

“A-are you going to leave?” you barely trusted your voice as your eyes searched his, pleading. 

“If you want me gone, you’re going to have to kill me” you could hear the determination in his voice as you smiled softly at him. He smiled back at you, before looking down at the kids, “Who do we have here?” 

Gently raising your left arm, you smiled down at your sleeping baby girl, “This is Raven,” you gently raised the other, “and this is Griffin.”

Clint raised an eyebrow, smirking, “I see there was a theme?” 

“I wanted to name them something for you… Do you like the names?” 

“You named our kids after some badass birds, what’s not to love” he smiled down at Raven, “Can I hold her?”

You nodded, watching as he carefully picked her up and began to gently bounce her up and down. He was staring down at his daughter’s face as a grin began to slowly creep his face. You’d never seen him as happy as in that moment. 

Of course, Raven picked that moment to let out a loud wail. The look on Clint’s face was pure horror at her cry and you couldn’t help but laugh as he looked you, panicked. 

“Here, hold her like this,” you said, pulling Griffin close to your chest to demonstrate, “She likes being sung to as well.”

He quickly copied your hold and began to sing quietly to your little songbird. As he was bouncing her around gently, holding her close and singing the door opened and Nat poked her head in, she hadn’t realized you guys had woken up yet. You caught her eye and she grinned as she slowly backed out, closing the door before he noticed. 

You looked back just in time to see the look of horror return to Clint’s face spread as Raven spit up on him. You quickly put Griffin back in his crib and took Raven from Clint, putting her back and turning around as Clint removed his shirt. Your eyes roamed over his chest, cataloging a handful of new scars. 

He cleared his throat, and you sheepishly pulled your gaze to meet his eyes, a blush blooming across your face. He stepped towards you, putting his hands on your waist and pulling you close to him. He leaned forward slightly, glancing down at your lips, asking a silent question. You paused for a moment, before meeting his lips in a kiss. It started slow, but it didn’t take long before your back was against the wall, and his hands were under your shirt. 

Barking downstairs caused you to pull apart, and you let out a breathy laugh as you stepped sideways and out of his reach, “Come on. The others are going to want to know you’re okay, and I owe them an explanation.” 

Clint stopped as you opened the door, looking at the cribs before back at you, and you bit back a grin, “We can bring them if you want?”

“You sure you’re okay introducing them to everyone?” He asked, wanting to make sure he didn’t push you too far tonight, not when he only just got you back.

You grabbed a burping cloth, tossing it to him, “I’m sure. Come on, you can take Griffin this time.”

As you guys headed downstairs, each of you holding one of your baby birds, your heart began to pound. Seeing the smile on Clint’s face as he looked at Griffin gave you all the courage you could need though. 

The others had been downstairs, talking quietly while they waited for the two of you to wake up. Lucky was the first to notice you two coming, and he bounded over to the stairs, whining at you guys. Conversation in the room came to a dead halt when they noticed you guys coming, and it took everything in you to meet their curious gazes. 

Nat turned to you, raising her eyebrow at Clint’s shirtlessness and your blush returned as you flipped her off. 

“So, who wants pizza?” you asked, laughing nervously.

“I mean, personally, I’d rather know what’s going on” Tony shrugged.

“I promise I’ll explain but I’m also super hungry and I know I don’t have enough food in this house for everyone, plus it’s going to take the pizza place forever so can we order first?” 

After ordering enough pizza for everyone, you took a seat on the lower stairs. You looked down at Raven’s face, she’d fallen back asleep as you ordered. Sensing your nervousness, Lucky sat in front of you, resting his head on your knee and you smiled down at him softly, rubbing his ears.

“So, the day of our last mission I found out I was pregnant. And, that night during the movie Clint said he didn’t want kids. Ever. I freaked out and convinced myself that he’d never want the kids or me, and decided there was only one path forward. I left, and I came here. I rebuilt an identity in SHIELD as [Y/F/N]. I gave myself a whole new record, lied on my skillset, family, all that. Figured the last place you guys would ever look for me was in SHIELD. Um, anyways. I went back in to fill out some paperwork yesterday for insurance, and Nat saw me.” 

“You’ve got to stop hacking SHIELD. At some point, they’re going to stop forgiving you. Fury’s already pissed you deleted yourself completely” Tony muttered, you stuck your tongue out at him in response. 

“Wait, what’d you lie about on your skillset,” Steve asked, his head tilting curiously.

Nat bust out laughing, grabbing out the copy of your file she’d snagged and you let out a groan, “Well, as far as they know, she’s not a medic and she knows nothing about computers. She put her abilities in as interrogation and undercover” 

You huffed in embarrassment, “And as you can see since I’ve been here I’ve actually gotten better at them? Sometimes you have to fake it, okay?”

Clint smirked, “So who wants to know our kids' names? Ooh, or see their room. They’re both pretty amazing”

You flipped him off, “I stand by their names. Raven and Griffin are perfect for them, and none of you are going in the kid’s room so help me God.”

Before anyone could say anything else, the pizza arrived, and you passed Griffin off to Nat while you handled it. You didn’t need the whole town knowing the Avengers were at your house. When you turned around from grabbing the pizzas, you realized Bucky and Tony were nowhere to be seen. 

Shoving the pizzas into Thor’s hands, you raced up the stairs, cursing loudly as you heard their laughter from the nursery. They whirled as you entered, laughing as they held up the stuffed Black Widow you’d found at a small shop in downtown. 

“Love the shrine, [Y/N]” Tony managed to get out between laughs. 

You grabbed it out of his hands and chucked it into the closet, trying to herd them out of the room, “please just leave. There is pizza downstairs. Please?”

“Glad to see you pretty bought every bit of Avengers stuff you could find” Bucky grinned, holding up the Onesie with a cartoon version of him on it. 

“I regret ever missing you fuckers,” you muttered, resigned to the teasing as Thor, Banner, and Steve made their way in as well. 

Over the next ten minutes, you endured the relentless teasing. Steve was studying the Avengers-themed wallpaper when he noticed the picture on the wall, and you shrugged with a small smile. 

“Okay guys, seriously, the pizza’s going to get cold. Or Lucky’s going to eat it, I can’t promise he won’t have already stolen a box” you started to head back downstairs.

“Hold up, [Y/N].” Steve stopped you with a gentle hand on your shoulder, “Why?” he motioned around the room.

“Because. Even if you guys couldn’t be here and they couldn’t know you, you’re all their family. And I only had one picture so I wanted to do whatever to make sure they knew as much as they could about you. Now can we go eat?” 

Bucky ruffled your hair as he walked past you.

You spent the rest of the evening talking and catching up with everyone. Thor apologized to Clint, and the two seemed to come to an unsteady peace. Hopefully, they’d learn to work together again. When the kids went down for the night, and the pizza had all been eaten, everyone began to yawn. As everyone began to claim their beds for the evening, you caught Clint’s eye and he nodded. 

You two headed upstairs, stopping in the nursery to make sure the twins were sleeping peacefully before continuing on to your bedroom. As you shut the door behind you, you smiled softly at him. Stepping into the bathroom, you quickly threw on your sleep shirt before returning to the bedroom. 

Clint looked you over and grinned goofily. Looking down, you realized what you were wearing. The day you’d left, you grabbed one of his shirts and you’d been sleeping in it since. Clint grabbed you, pulling you into bed and you laughed as he kissed you.

Later that evening, Clint was curled around you and for the first time since you’d left, things felt right.

“What happens next?” you asked him quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, all that's left is the epilogue! 
> 
> I hope this last chapter isn't a disappointment!


	7. Epilogue

It had been five years since you’d rejoined the team, and it was almost like you’d never left. You and Clint had bought an apartment downtown near the Tower, and it was perfect. You resumed your Friday date nights, and you never had to worry about a babysitter, the others were always more than happy to watch your little birds for you.

Things hadn’t always been easy after you’d returned of course. In fact, you’d had to go through a year of couple’s counseling. Clint had trust issues, and for the first few months you were back he was afraid to let you out of his sight, afraid you’d disappear on him again. There’d been many panicked phone calls when your trip to the store took longer than expected, and he’d refused to go on missions without you even. In the end, you’d been able to earn back his trust but he still didn’t like you going places without him. 

Raven and Griffin had become rambunctious little kids. Griffin was your little man, but Raven? She took after her father. She was always starting trouble, and she had apparently inherited Clint’s inherent love for pranks. Unfortunately, where Raven went, Griffin usually followed along. Twins always stick together of course.

Clint turned out to be the best father you could have imagined. From waking up early and making pancakes with Griffin to teaching archery to Raven. There wasn’t a part of fatherhood he didn’t love, although you were both sure that would change once the twins hit their teen years.

Today was the fifth anniversary of you coming home, and Clint didn’t know the surprise he was in for. You’d gone on your usual date night, but instead of wrapping up the movie with a little private fun, you’d convinced him to come sit on the roof with you.

The two of you were sat, overlooking the city, sharing a blanket as you watched the night sky. Smiling down at the ring on your finger, you remembered your elopement two years ago, and how Nat had just been pissed she didn’t get to dress you up and put you two through the whole ordeal of a fancy wedding. It hadn’t taken her long to get it over it though since you’d brought her along as your witness.

The two of you had been passing a box of cookies back and forth, you’d been hiding them from the twins and saving them for a night like tonight. Only, this time, instead of passing him a box you passed him something else. 

His eyes drew together in confusion as he looked down at the small stick in his hand. A smile crept across his face as he stared down at the positive pregnancy test and he turned to you quickly.

“Are you? Are we?” he looked up at you, eyes shining with excitement.

You nodded, smiling back at him but before you could say anything he swept you up, spinning you around before kneeling down and kissing your stomach. 

As you stayed there in that moment, you knew that no matter what may come next, whatever life threw your way, you’d handle it. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone who came with me on this journey and I hope you enjoyed this story. This story is really special to me, it's actually my first completed fic ever, so I apologize if the ending is a bit blunt? I never quite know where to end things! Anyways, if you liked the story, check back in later this week as I'll be starting a different version of it but with Bucky Barnes and I'll be posting a Clint one shot soon too! Thank you lovelies!


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